


Kinda like an accidental pregnancy on prom night, but worse

by nephilim667



Series: Hyperion!Axton and all things inbetween [3]
Category: Borderlands
Genre: Family Fluff, Gen, Jack has odd metaphors to explain his family, Mental Coercion, Self - made Family, Sorry Not Sorry, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, crazy people wanting and making a family, i have no idea im just making up tags now, jacks family is a broken condom accident, this is what happens when handsome jack wants a family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 14:34:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5874322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nephilim667/pseuds/nephilim667
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Handsome Jack can honestly say whenever he is asked, that his family kinda snuck up on him. like a broken condom causing a pregnancy he couldnt terminate because it was to late and the little mistake grew on him when he saw the ultra sound</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kinda like an accidental pregnancy on prom night, but worse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bennylucerne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bennylucerne/gifts), [St_nothing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/St_nothing/gifts), [AshesTheTerrible](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshesTheTerrible/gifts).



> this is a stand alone feel good that i need as i take a quick break from borderlands and needing cheering up sincei got fired from work. and for the record i dont have an opinion on broken condoms and accidental prom night pregnancies. im a live and let live kinda people, choices are for those who make them and none of my buisiness, this way of life has kept me very very stress free.
> 
> P.S. this is also for 3 authors bennylucerne st_nothing and AshesTheTerrible who's 3 seperate fics gave this mutated idea

*Hyperion Station, Handsome Jack Office*

Handsome Jack had no idea how his little family even happened. he kinda feel's like his condom broke on prom night and than the chick pops up with serious black cause she was like not legal and woke up one day going i actually am consenting into this shit. He is staring at a his holoscreen of a family vacation they took to one of his more successful paradise planets. It was a Tropical Beach Bum paradise. it was actually called Planet Blissful Beaches. He watched the slide show of pictures. Blue sky with perfect clouds, white sand that was just so soft it was almost unreal, unactive volcano whose ash made for lush forest soil, clear water for miles and miles. He slowed the slideshow show down as he got the 'Family Album' portion.

Him and Axton were smiling at each other he sat in the commandoes lap on laid back beach style chaise lounge in the shade. Axton was looking at him with glowing eye's and that forever look of awe, trepidtion, hatred, fear and complete SS, read ladies and gents Stockholm Syndrom. Axton's collar completely visible, his bruises new and uncaringly displayed. but Axton had his arms wrapped around Jack and it was just so touching that Jack felt so much warmth. HE had broken that Vault hunter down. Turned him from Enemy to Invaluable asset and right hand. into Slave/Lover and now even his unofficial/Official Husband. Jack flicked to the next picture.

There was his darling girl. His Angel, oh how things would have been different were it not for his worker's stroke of genuis about his siren daughter. She was smiling all to happy next to the Crazed yet oddly empty face of Tiny Tina, and oh how he got such a hard on when he thinks of how he had bent and twisted and molded that girl into his other duaghter and how Roland's face had looked, with Gaige in the middle. his female bikini not hiding at all that he was not actually a girl. which had been a surprise to Jack, Axton and just about anyone who knew the Mechromancer. The glue that held there weird threesome together, Gaige was almost more loyal than Axton... Almost because Jack himself had broken the commando to the point were he was pretty sure Axton would wither and die if Jack showed an ounce of anything negative him. 

The Picture of all of them together smiling at the Camera, without a care in the world. It looked for all the world like the perfect family really. And jack had to admit his little mistake of a family had just crept up on him without his notice. And he was pretty sure the broken condom that produced this family was already tampered him. He still smiled has his 'girls' smiled adorable were they huddle around Butt Stallion and as Axton held him close from behind chin on his should literally beaming at the camera. He smiled because no one would know that in reality his 'Husband' was some captured Vault Hunter that was Tortured and Mindfucked so horrible that he had literally pulled a japanese hentai move and had his 'mind broke' it was quite funny really, Axton could surprisingly pull of the whole tongue hanging, eyes rolled back, sycophantic worship like those weird cartoon chicks pulled whenever they suffered mind break.

That the girl/boy red haired mecromancer was a product of experimental hypnosis and drugged pheromones that made her think Jack was her savior and her parents where evil abusers, who had led an innocent Vault Hunter Commando to his ruin, and was the sole reason the Vault Hunters lost all hope of an inside Ally.

That the thing Blonde was tortured with all form of physical, mental and emotional abuse until she latched into Jack to preserve what was left of her already dwindled sanity. That she was nothing more than a means to bring pain the crimson raiders. Jack could admit that he did grow fond of the little psychotic explosion obsessed freak, but mainly Tiny Tina is there for his Angel and Gaige than anything else.

Handsome Jack loved his broken condom made family. loved that he actually had the chance to be the hero and the family man and the succsessful business man all in one. he didnt even have to remarry and work that hard to get it. I mean really Torture works wonder's it really really does. but Jack was glad, So Glad he wouldn't kill Dopple Jack and The Baroness for playing him while he was busy trying to be the number one hero. looking down at his 'Husband' at his feet under his desk he kicked him hard in the side and pointed to his dick. "suck it quick, i've got a meeting soon and i wanna ride you so hard" he sneered at his bitch. As Jack lay back he sighed. yea he loved his family and as his ass convulsed at the though the pounding he was gonna get from his bitch/slave/husband/enforcer he though out loud "i hope the proverbial Condom breaks a few more times."

 

............ Hadsome Jacks office, later on..................

Axton smiled as he filed some reports for his lover and master. HIS Handsome Jack. He frowned as yet again he wondered about that weird condom comment. he shrugged and hoped Jack would be home in time for dinner. after all Panora was almost jacks and Axton just knew that his old pal's and what was left of the crimson raiders had to go. He had a very great idea for Jack, he just hoped jack would like it.... after all how couldn't jack like it. Axton was gonna show his old friends how wrong they were about Jack and how great he was and why they should be loyal to him and hyperion. its a win-win, his friends get enlightened and Jack get empolyer's who can do more of his less savory work in flushing out villians who keep trying to upstage the hero

**Author's Note:**

> yea so jack loves his little mistakes doesnt he.... what have i dont to those poor Vault hunters/Bandits for the sake of Hyperion happy trash endings


End file.
